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A decision to stay.



We are the choices we make. We decide at every instance of our lives who we choose be, what we want to be and how we want to react to a situation.

Today, as I type these words, I have made a choice. A choice to remain at home during the winter break while my younger sister travels to visit our cousins. But, one never can really foresee the true consequences of their decisions until later in time. I assumed that staying back would be easy because, generally , I'm quite happy to be left to my own thoughts, reading books and watching some series on Netflix. Today, for the first time I feel like I'm missing out, I feel like I could be there, with them having fun and enjoying. 

But, here I am writing. Don't get me wrong, it was completely my choice to stay. I stayed because I needed to think, I needed some time alone to make decisions, important decisions that I've been putting out for a long time. I needed direction , I needed to know where I was going and what I would do a few years later.
And this reflection can happen only when I do not have to study college material and work on assignments.

My decision to stay at home was in my interests, but right now, I feel like I want to be a two places at the same time.
I just spoke to my sister a while ago, she told me of her adventures today, and I, could only listen.

Maybe, just maybe this IS the first step, this is the struggle the great achievers talked about and maybe, there's a lot more to go.

And now, I find that as I'm writing this I feel a lot more clear of my intentions. This experience has thought me to love, every moment because every moment teaches you something, every day is a chance to achieve, to be happy and to live our best life. Although I have sacrificed the short visit to my cousins, I have had quality time to create, to reflect , to spend time with my parents, to read great books and know of new things. 

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but remember, only if you take a closer look at your own side will you find the beautiful, small details that you would have missed otherwise.
Nelson Mandela once said, 'May your reflect your hopes and not your fears.'



Until Tuesday,
hx.

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